MC BLOG: Why Torture Yourself?

By Robert Middleton - Action Plan Marketing

One thing I've discovered in my business, if I haven't discovered anything else, is that my Mindset determines my results.

And by Mindset I'm not just talking about attitudes and states of mind. Those are important, but they are ultimately controlled by something deeper. Some people use the term "core beliefs," and from what I've observed, these core beliefs are what determine our mindset more than anything else.

But what are our core beliefs? You can only discover them by some serious investigation and observation. It often starts by looking at behaviors, thoughts, and feelings and then asking the question, "What would I have to believe, to feel, think and act that way?"

For instance, if you were always avoiding answering email you could explore that. "What would I have to believe to be avoiding answering my email?" The answer might be, "It's a hassle and takes too much time." But that doesn't quite get at a core belief.

So why is it a hassle? What would you have to believe to make it seem like a hassle? After all, not everyone sees email as a hassle. If you look further you may see that it's dealing with people that feels like a hassle (not only with email but it other business interactions as well.)

So the core belief is "Working with people is a hassle." Now, you have to do this investigation yourself; you'll come up with the core beliefs that are true for you.

But think about this one. If "working with people is a hassle," how is that going to show up in your business in ways other than avoiding email? Might you not also avoid following up with people, submitting proposals, negotiating, and working with clients?

If you have "working with people is a hassle," as a core belief, I predict that business will occur to you as a struggle where you feel it would be better if you didn't need to deal with people so much.

If this is the case, you'd better work on changing that core belief, or consider not being in business. After all, why torture yourself?

What are some of the core beliefs that are shaping your business performance? Take a look and share them with me on the blog.

Cheers,

Robert Middleton

Comments

[Robert Richman]

I love the way you phrase this. I'm going to have to look at where some of these beliefs are for me.

And I agree with you that Three Laws of Performance is a great way to shift mindset.

[Barbara Saunders]

I sometimes fall into the trap of believing that I believe "working with people is a hassle." But, when I think it through, that isn't the root problem. My real issue is structuring my business so that my interactions with people are the kind I enjoy! For instance, I love informal, one-to-one encounters in person and email exchanges. I find structured and formal interactions, especially in groups, very tedious and stressful.

A person might come to the false conclusion that disliking email = wanting to avoid people, when the real issue is that she doesn't like dealing with people from behind a screen.

[Lori Silverman]

Hi Robert,

Core beliefs underlie our actions. However, our assumptions underlie our core beliefs. A mindset or behavior cannot be altered until an individual alters those fundamental assumptions that give rise to them. Edgar Schein spoke about this in his work on culture in organizations. The developmental counseling literature speaks about it at the level of the individual.

So, the real questions is, what is/are the assumption(s) driving the core belief, "Working with people is a hassle?"

Enjoy!
Lori Silverman
http://www.partnersforprogress.com
http://www.wakeupmycompany.com
http://www.sayitwithastory.com

[Mary Gallagher]

Very good insight here. Just going a bit under the surface and asking yourself directed questions can make all the difference in a day or in doing a particular task. Putting this into action right now. I've been procrastinating writing a simple report. This process is clearing things up already! Thank you. best for now, Mary

[Michael Kelberer]

Another way of looking at (or for) core beliefs: when you have a habit that's obstructing your path, ask yourself what benefit you're getting from maintaining that bad habit. (In Robert's example, the benefit was avoiding working with people.) I've found it helpful to start by being willing to give up the benefit before starting to work on the habit itself. Otherwise, it's a tough sale.