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November 05, 2007


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i find this '85%' is actually 100%.
the problems where i (and people i work with) feel stuck are always subjective.

in my experience (which is very limited ^_^), once the subjective is seen clearly, the objective reality becomes clear - the 'problem' becomes a situation... and the answers (and the way) become clear.

Shama Hyder


All success really DOES start from within. You can be the best consultant and coach in the world, but if you don't believe in yourself-it shows. One great tool to unstick oneself is to break the current pattern by doing something completely different. When I find myself nearing "stressed" mode-I go and drink a full glass of water. It doesn't matter if I am not thirsty-it helps break the old pattern long enough to start a new line of thought.

Sr. Patricia

Wow, Robert, this was so what I needed for today. It just clicked, clicked, clicked in all the right places.

I am working on a new book and at the point in the game where I go out to get endorsements. It's like.. okay we can do this... but then we don't.

I have a sort of mental block that I can't go after the BIG names that I want because I will get a "NO!"... ooooh... fear of no is such a killer.

Your article helped me to focus on yes... and if I get a no.. to move on until I do get a YES.

Thanks again for a great post.

P.S. I shared this with my list tonight... was just too good to keep to myself.

Robert Middleton

Reply to Rob Wendes

You might think of "psychological" as anything internal. It is our thoughts our feelings, our concerns, worries, insecurities, fears, confusion, etc.

We often fail to make a distinction between external and psychological issues. They are both real and both need to be dealt with. Where I see Independent Professionals get confused in the area of marketing is that the ascribe internal characteristics to external situations.

So for instance, if you decide to get involved in networking and you have a hard time doing it, you'll say things such as "It's hard to meet people," or "people don't care about my services," or "there's no time to network."

We think we are describing external reality and that inevitably leads to abandoning our efforts because this activity is "futile and too hard."

If networking were in reality futile and too hard, then nobody could succeed at it. Therefore these views of reality are colored by psychological states or "states of being."

Who are you being that networking shows up for you as: "It's hard to meet people," or "people don't care about my services," or "there's no time to network."

You might call this state of being "resignation" or "hopelessness." It doesn't reflect reality. It literally shapes reality.

If you choose a state of being such as "enthusiastic" and "hopefulness," marketing will show up completely differently for you. In fact you may jsut find that it's easy to meet new people, that people are interested in your services and that you can easily find the time to network.

Choosing who you are going to be may be the most powerful action you can take in your life.

Bill O'Shea


Thanks so much for this article on two levels: one for helping me realize I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed and confused by the tasks before me and, two, for offering an excellent suggestion to overcome these feelings.

If I may, I'd like to offer another suggestion that helps me dramatically when I'm feeling stuck, overwhelmed and confused.

When I recognize that feeling of uncertainty in myself, I stop and ask "What one thing can I do today to move my business ahead?" I'll discern the answer, write it down and get it done.

Maybe that one thing is to follow up with a client or to write that article for my website - whatever it is I write it down and then make that the one major goal I accomplish that day.

Although it can be difficult to stick with our marketing system when we're feeling stuck, that is precisely the time we need to cling to it like a life preserver.

Thanks again!


Boy did you hit the nail on the head! I tend to go into overwhelm too and then procrastinate rather than getting it done. I'm going to BE focused and productive today instead. Thank you!

Rob Wendes

I re-read your e-zine and another point came to mind. When we talk about ' 85% of the issues' being 'psychologically' based what does that mean? Is it that customers feel themselves to be inadequate when taking a particular course of action, or are we back to addressing their fears?

Rob Wendes

Thanks Robert, you've hit another raw nerve:-) I'm generally calm and focused, and have a reasonable (but not high enough) threshold of fear.

However what I have been BEING is overawed by the enormity of the marketing problem. You're right, I do spend endless amounts of time on the Internet gathering more information in the hope that I will try to understand what I am doing, but there isn't one definitive answer. Because reaching out and touching other people seems to me to be difficult over the Internet then I tend to procrastinate rather than get on with it.

Erica Ross-Krieger

Robert, I love the question, "If I weren't ___who would I prefer to be?" Great tool for helping us "unstick" ourselves -- in marketing issues or otherwise! Thanks for the input. I also adore Rick Carson's book, Taming Your Gremlin for exploring another level of the stuckness. Oh, and I'd say a good 90% of my wellness clients really do wind up dealing with their wellness mindset/psychology when they come for coaching, even though as you say, it's other things that brought them to me in the first place. It really is about where they're stuck. Again, thanks for tackling this today.

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